I'm not going to lie, I have had a tough year. Not a great year, last year wasn't too swell either. I guess it's been bad for a while now. But, I'm not a wallower, even though sometimes I prefer wallowing, I even like wallowing, but nonetheless, wallowing is not an option in my life. My schedule won't allow it. So, I have to put my head up, and just do. Do anything, do whatever I want, I get to choose what I want to do, so my only option left is to just do. I got on this amazing travel ball team over the summer. This allowed new hope in my life. I am so excited about this team because softball means a lot to me and I take it very seriously. I am glad that I have the opportunity to play in Division One Travel Ball, where I belong, and get the opportunity to improve and allow myself to prepare for future opportunities. Softball is an anchor, something I can look forward to. Even if it causes a little more stress than I need, it's (and I sincerely apologize for the disgustingly cheesy thing I am about to say) truly my happy place. This is what I am going to do, this is what I choose and I am happy with my decisions. When life has just given me a little too much for one day, I can go to softball and work even harder. That's the only thing I know to do, the only option left. The harder I work, allows more opportunity to get better and I will feel good about myself because all I want to is to succeed. That's all I have and I can't give it up. I have been privileged with this opportunity and I will certainly not waste it. I want to reinvent myself and I will not fail. This is a new start, I can choose to work harder and be better, and that's what I choose.
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This year, I really hope that I can find books that I am really interested in. I know that I can read, but i need some sort of motivation to read. Since school has started, I have found a book that I am actually excited to read, The Duff. I have noticed myself reading in the car, reading before bed, just reading in any free time i have. This is really odd for me because I have never liked reading, it always felt forced and wasn't something I felt happy about or was ever looking forward to. I am happy to say, that I can't even put the book down. I am actually sad because I'm going through the book too fast because I have just been reading all the time. I have been doing less reading so that I can enjoy the book for a longer period of time. But this is very difficult because I just want to read all the time. This is a feeling that I have wanted for a long time, and now I am blessed to have this outlook on reading and I am so excited for the opportunities this attitude towards reading might bring me. Hopefully, I can find more books that I won't be closed-minded about and actually read them, and hopefully really enjoy them. My goal is to enjoy every book I read this year, and feel excited to go home and read. It makes me so happy that I am actually excited about reading and I hope I can keep this outlook for the rest of my life. Although, I do think that in order to keep this outlook, I have to find the right books to read and books that allow me to be excited about reading. Another goal is to find the right books for me. This might be difficult, but if I have to read The Duff again, I don't think I'll be too sad. Considering I love the book and am sad about finishing it because it's such an amazing book. Hopefully, I can find the right books and keep a good roster on my shelf to insure the best reads for me!
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AuthorEva Heinrichs Archives
April 2016
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